The random utterances of David Arno

I just noticed the following on our noticeboard at work. Die-hard Windows fanboys will no doubt think it pathetic, but everyone else – me included – will likely think it amusing, if not hilarious. Enjoy…

/*
  GNOT General Public License!
  (c) 1995-2007 Microsoft Corporation
*/
#include "dos.h"
#include "win95.h"
#include "win98.h"
#include "sco_unix.h"
class WindowsVista extends WindowsXP implements Nothing
{
 int totalNewFeatures = 3;
 int totalWorkingNewFeatures = 0;
 float numberOfBugs = 345889E+08;
 bool readyForRelease = FALSE;

 void main()
 {
  while (!CRASHED)
  {
   if (first_time_install)
   {
    if (installed RAM < 2GB || processorSpeed < 4GHz)
    {
     MessageBox("Hardware incompatibity error.");
     GetKeyPress ();
     BSOD();
    }
   }
   Make10GBswapfile():
   SearchAndDestroy(FIREFOX|OPENOFFICEORG|AHYTHING_GOOGLE);
   AddRandomDriver();
   MessageBox("Driver incompatibily error.");
   GetKeyPress();
   BSOD();
  }

  //printf("Welcome to Windows 2000");
  //printf("Welcome to Windows XP");
  printf("Welcome to Windows Vista");
  if (still_not_crashed)
  {
   CheckUserLicense();
   DoubleCheckUserLicense();
   TripleCheckUserLicense();
   RelayUserDetailsToRedmond();
   DisplayFancyGraphics();
   FlickerLED(hard_drive);
   RunWindowsXP();
   return LotsMoreMoney;
  }
 }
}

I don’t know who wrote the original. If I find out, then I’ll update the post to add an acknowledgement.